Fast forward after that, I get dressed and prepare myself. I have an exam in this electric company that I'm applying and I say to God, "Lord, this is it! This will be the job that You have for me and I'll do good". And I go on my way, eyes wide-open and a smiling heart. I don't mind being drenched in sweat and my polo creased as I made my way inside the MRT. I did good in exams and felt I would pass. In my heart, an expectant hope stirs up, "God, be upon me. Send Your favor on me". Hours after, I would go the organization that I'm currently involved with. We have a newsletter to finish and there I was getting started to do all the necessary layout and editing. I would say, 'Bless this newsletter, Lord. I pray that it will touch anyone those who read it." and you would say, "Lord, have favor on me cause I did favor in Yours"
What happens when you the company hasn't called you for the allotted time? I would say, "Lord, please touch the hearts of those in charge of my application, please" and still you waited. Days passed and no call or text came. I start to become anxious and desperate. Each day, I pray that I still trust God and that He will still give my heart's desire but inside, the hope within starts to grow fainter and fainter. And days pass, I feel I don't want to praise God nor even had the enthusiasm to read His words. I felt worried and angry, angry because God does not seem to hear me. One night in my bitterness I cried out, "God! Why are You like that? You make my life so hard! I have faithfully served you. I've been involved in your work, served people along the way. Iit's not fair! Why can't you grant my own request, this simple request?" And tears filled with pity rolled away. And I felt very desperate but God is slowly speaking to my heart, "Have faith, my child! You might not see what I'm doing in in your heart but continue to trust in me"... Such an unseen truth! Easy to say but hard to follow.
The next day, when you wake up, you can still feel the bitterness in Your heart but You've made a decision, "I will not stop praising You! I will still declare Your goodness. For all the things that You've done and for all You're going to do". Everyday, God starts to assure me. As I read the the book of Psalm, I encountered an account about King David in Psalm 71:
Psalm 71:12-16 Amplified
12O God, be not far from me! O my God, make haste to help me!
13Let them be put to shame and consumed who are adversaries to my life; let them be covered with reproach, scorn, and dishonor who seek and require my hurt.
14But I will hope continually, and will praise You yet more and more.
15My mouth shall tell of Your righteous acts and of Your deeds of salvation all the day, for their number is more than I know.
16I will come in the strength and with the mighty acts of the Lord God; I will mention and praise Your righteousness, even Yours alone.
This really spoke to my heart and the bitterness just ebbed away. My friends, I urged you to continue trusting God. In times of trouble, cling to God, never let Him go. Speak to Him in bold honesty what is in Your heart and He will comfort you.
Habakkuk 3:17-18
17Though the fig tree does not blossom and there is no fruit on the vines, [though] the product of the olive fails and the fields yield no food, though the flock is cut off from the fold and there are no cattle in the stalls,
18Yet I will rejoice in the Lord; I will exult in the [victorious] God of my salvation!
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