She was a Bride

She was a bride, beautiful and bright
Her smile brought pleasure to her lover
She was with him day and night
He captures her heart and make her right

She was a bride, beautiful and bright
But her heart was not satisfied
Other lovers have come and wooed her
And she gave her heart away

She was a bride, beautiful and bright
And all that she had has gone away
Feeling like a harlot, she breaks down and cry
Holding the shards of her broken heart.

And she longed for the days
In the eternal paradise
Where the one who truly loves her
Is waiting for her return

She was a bride, beautiful and bright
And she's coming home to stay

Sin and Grace

Does God hear?
Living like a dead-beaten man
Sin, sinned, sinning
I'm eating it like a daily bread
Unsatisfied, still wanting for more
Lustful and glutton

Spiralling in an endless pit
How should I meet my needs
Of love and attention?
Should I indulge in fantasy?
Be absorbed in my destructive adventures

Does God still hear?
Or is it I who just who refused to listen
To His promptings to my heart
Wooing to win me back
Like a lover who betrays
My soul wouldn't want every inch of Him

Here I am sitting
Listening to the beating of my heart
Does it still feel love for God
Or does it feel unrelenting avoidance
When was the last time
That I fell head over heels with God?
Like a distant memory, I barely remember.

Does God remember every cry of my heart?
Of the lonely nights when I was faithful
Does God would now like to remember?
Now that I repeatedly betray Him
I felt dirty in coming to You
You are Holy and I felt like mud
I'd rather stay away and try to forget You.

I come to you and you welcomed me
Disgrace marked my tattered clothes
Yet you robed me magnificently
With grace so bright and costly
Undeserving yet You welcomed me
You were not surprised of my betrayal
You welcomed me, you welcomed me...

Made my heart white as snow
You grace washed the mud away
You are the lover of my soul
I am your beloved, yet you love me just as I am
Restored the romance betweek You and me

Not by Sight

I am sick... again. For many months now since I have this new job, I got sick frequently. Yesterday, I was chilling in the office, my head felt heavy, though I'm not that feverish. I went home after the office hours and when I got home, I slept. A while ago, I texted my boss that I can't report to work - I've been sneezing and pain is all over my body.

Sunset at Sierra Madre

Amidst all of this, I was thinking somehow that I need a break - that somehow things were what they used to be. I remember the lazy summer days when I was jobless. I remember the retreats we have at Sierra Madre. I remember the feeling the first time I got on stage when I first started at the Praise and Worship Team in our church. Fast forward ... and I got a job - I was trained as an IT Specialist and was assigned here at an insurance company where everyday, stress is the normal word for every day activity but also an opportunity to apply my thinking skills. The ministry in an organization where I am involved with also grew and I was involved in the ministry activities after office hours and on weekends. Praise God! God also blessed me in the Praise and Music ministry in our church, where an opportunity came where I could be a Praise and Worship leader in the 5 pm service of our church aside from my usual back-up singing in the morning services. All of these things are good but now, somehow I got lost in track and I asked God, "Where would all of these lead me?"... I got side tracked, burned out and ministry activities become too routinary and even church singing was more of a duty than a passion and not to mention the weariness I get from my every day job.

In my devotion just this morning, God led me to know Him - as a God where I could fully trust. It's hard to have faith in God when you can't see what lies ahead. But that's what our relationship with God is all about - in faith, when our mortal eyes can't see what's ahead, when we let our shepherd lead us along the way - to the valley far below and on the mountaintop. As I ponder on these, I felt secure. I felt my dreams and hopes just faltred in this fast and busy world but as God brought me in this point - it just brought me to stop and acknowledge my weariness and let God carry me.

Morning Moonshell

O LORD, our Lord,
How majestic is your name
In all the earth!
You have set your glory
Above the heavens

Flowers appear on the earth;
The season of singing has come,
The cooing of doves
Is heard in our land.

As they pass through the Valley of Baca,
They make it a place of springs;
The autumn rains also cover it with pools.

As fire consumes the forest
Or a flame sets the mountains ablaze,

When I consider your heavens,
The work of your fingers,
The moon and the stars,
Which you have set in place,

2007 World Pyrolympics
SM Mall of Asia
Pasay City, Philippines

Touching God's Heart

There are some things that you think you won't be missing every day in your life. You wake up everyday, have breakfast, take a bath, go to work, check your emails, be pressured by your boss, go to the gym and train, go back home and sleep. On weekends, it's either you fill out with endless hanging out in the malls with friends and squeeze a little of your time to go to church. Being a yuppie, life has been like this for me for the past months. I seem to love and (fear a little) everything about life, when things are all what they seem, when things go as they should be. But what could be missing? Of course I haven't forgotten about God, I read my Bible everyday, I read my daily devotions, I pray and confess my sins.

But I was sitting there inside Ninoy Aquino Stadium, with the Hillsong United Concert ticket in my hand and in a few minutes later, true worshippers will worship God in spirit and in truth. As I sat there, I recalled last year when I was at Reuben Morgan's Concert God has literally turned my life around. It was there God revealed His purpose in my life but how about now? When I have my own job, sure God's dream for me is there but I felt somehow some things has been clouding my heart. I felt off-centered. True, I love God- I'm involved in God's ministry but somehow I felt out of touch. I felt I have lost my center. I desperately need to touch the heart of God and that God would touch mine. I'm not sure if I'm worthy to come into His presence tonight with worries in my head - like my job, or the sins that were to shameful to admit. But I have to and I want to - to come boldly into His presence, this all or nothing. I have nothing to hide, I'll discard all my sophistication and I'm gonna sing, dance and jump before His presence like it's just between me and Him.

Everything was in a blur as the band came out. I felt so ready and the trailer before us flashed, "Now is the time when true worshippers will worship God in spirit and in truth". People were howling, screaming and jumping as the music played and the band played the songs. God was slowly removing the layers of pretense off my heart. It's hard to sing and to take into your soul what you're singing when you felt so far away from God. I sighed in frustration, God I can't feel you. Why is it like that? But when I stopped doing all my attempts to manufacture for God's presence by signing out loud, jumping, and just standing there being silent and prayed a simple sincere prayer, I felt God coming to me and I felt my Spirit rising as I slowly come to His invitation to lavish His presence. We cannot manufacture God's presence by setting up an atmosphere of worship. He comes when our hearts are set before Him.

Pastor Christian came up the stage and gave a short exhortation. He was telling us not to forget the dream God has planted into your heart. If you haven't got a dream then start dreaming. Live God's dream everywhere you are - in your church, with your friends, in your workplace. Live out God's dream for and just do it! How could I forget what God has planted in me? How suddenly at this current situation in my life, they seem so far away? What has gone wrong I thought? The passion has gone and I've been neglecting my ministry in order to pursue some "new" passions. I realized I have prioritized other things more than I prioritize things that matters to God. I've made mistakes and wrong decisions. I rededicated my dream to God and just like a snap! God's heart seemed to be reconciled to my heart and I was singing my heart loud, shouting out loud God's goodness and praying for people. This is wonderful, I wished that this night would never end.

When the concert was over, my friends and I were still so excited of what has transpired. We talked about what God has revealed to us that night and we can't stop talking about it while we were going home. The message is still clear, imprinted into us, just like what the song "Tell the World" says,

"Don't wanna be here and shout your praise and walk away and forget Your name."

We ought to be out of the world telling everyone of what God has done in each of our lives.