Not by Sight

I am sick... again. For many months now since I have this new job, I got sick frequently. Yesterday, I was chilling in the office, my head felt heavy, though I'm not that feverish. I went home after the office hours and when I got home, I slept. A while ago, I texted my boss that I can't report to work - I've been sneezing and pain is all over my body.

Sunset at Sierra Madre

Amidst all of this, I was thinking somehow that I need a break - that somehow things were what they used to be. I remember the lazy summer days when I was jobless. I remember the retreats we have at Sierra Madre. I remember the feeling the first time I got on stage when I first started at the Praise and Worship Team in our church. Fast forward ... and I got a job - I was trained as an IT Specialist and was assigned here at an insurance company where everyday, stress is the normal word for every day activity but also an opportunity to apply my thinking skills. The ministry in an organization where I am involved with also grew and I was involved in the ministry activities after office hours and on weekends. Praise God! God also blessed me in the Praise and Music ministry in our church, where an opportunity came where I could be a Praise and Worship leader in the 5 pm service of our church aside from my usual back-up singing in the morning services. All of these things are good but now, somehow I got lost in track and I asked God, "Where would all of these lead me?"... I got side tracked, burned out and ministry activities become too routinary and even church singing was more of a duty than a passion and not to mention the weariness I get from my every day job.

In my devotion just this morning, God led me to know Him - as a God where I could fully trust. It's hard to have faith in God when you can't see what lies ahead. But that's what our relationship with God is all about - in faith, when our mortal eyes can't see what's ahead, when we let our shepherd lead us along the way - to the valley far below and on the mountaintop. As I ponder on these, I felt secure. I felt my dreams and hopes just faltred in this fast and busy world but as God brought me in this point - it just brought me to stop and acknowledge my weariness and let God carry me.