There are some things that you think you won't be missing every day in your life. You wake up everyday, have breakfast, take a bath, go to work, check your emails, be pressured by your boss, go to the gym and train, go back home and sleep. On weekends, it's either you fill out with endless hanging out in the malls with friends and squeeze a little of your time to go to church. Being a yuppie, life has been like this for me for the past months. I seem to love and (fear a little) everything about life, when things are all what they seem, when things go as they should be. But what could be missing? Of course I haven't forgotten about God, I read my Bible everyday, I read my daily devotions, I pray and confess my sins.
But I was sitting there inside Ninoy Aquino Stadium, with the Hillsong United Concert ticket in my hand and in a few minutes later, true worshippers will worship God in spirit and in truth. As I sat there, I recalled last year when I was at Reuben Morgan's Concert God has literally turned my life around. It was there God revealed His purpose in my life but how about now? When I have my own job, sure God's dream for me is there but I felt somehow some things has been clouding my heart. I felt off-centered. True, I love God- I'm involved in God's ministry but somehow I felt out of touch. I felt I have lost my center. I desperately need to touch the heart of God and that God would touch mine. I'm not sure if I'm worthy to come into His presence tonight with worries in my head - like my job, or the sins that were to shameful to admit. But I have to and I want to - to come boldly into His presence, this all or nothing. I have nothing to hide, I'll discard all my sophistication and I'm gonna sing, dance and jump before His presence like it's just between me and Him.
Everything was in a blur as the band came out. I felt so ready and the trailer before us flashed, "Now is the time when true worshippers will worship God in spirit and in truth". People were howling, screaming and jumping as the music played and the band played the songs. God was slowly removing the layers of pretense off my heart. It's hard to sing and to take into your soul what you're singing when you felt so far away from God. I sighed in frustration, God I can't feel you. Why is it like that? But when I stopped doing all my attempts to manufacture for God's presence by signing out loud, jumping, and just standing there being silent and prayed a simple sincere prayer, I felt God coming to me and I felt my Spirit rising as I slowly come to His invitation to lavish His presence. We cannot manufacture God's presence by setting up an atmosphere of worship. He comes when our hearts are set before Him.
Pastor Christian came up the stage and gave a short exhortation. He was telling us not to forget the dream God has planted into your heart. If you haven't got a dream then start dreaming. Live God's dream everywhere you are - in your church, with your friends, in your workplace. Live out God's dream for and just do it! How could I forget what God has planted in me? How suddenly at this current situation in my life, they seem so far away? What has gone wrong I thought? The passion has gone and I've been neglecting my ministry in order to pursue some "new" passions. I realized I have prioritized other things more than I prioritize things that matters to God. I've made mistakes and wrong decisions. I rededicated my dream to God and just like a snap! God's heart seemed to be reconciled to my heart and I was singing my heart loud, shouting out loud God's goodness and praying for people. This is wonderful, I wished that this night would never end.
When the concert was over, my friends and I were still so excited of what has transpired. We talked about what God has revealed to us that night and we can't stop talking about it while we were going home. The message is still clear, imprinted into us, just like what the song "Tell the World" says,
"Don't wanna be here and shout your praise and walk away and forget Your name."
We ought to be out of the world telling everyone of what God has done in each of our lives.
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