Hideous!


The night before I departed back to Manila, my sister finally made me watch "The Call", our local church presentation last Christmas. I looked forward seeing my performance as singer and whether I'd make it as a singing pop star (char mo chak!). Well after the 2nd song in the repertoire, I waited intently at the third song which is my solo. I hid my face with a pillow, I don't want to see what I look like. However, voice-wise, I was really satistfied with my voice. My months with the HIMIG surely did pay off... I was really good with the low, baritonish notes ... I removed the pillow from my face and woah!!!!! The biggest man in Earth is right in front of my face ... I was several pounds bigger on screen and remembered correctly that I really looked skinny even during Christmas... and so I think of myself maybe real singers are too skinny in personal since they looked okay in TV... Guess I have many pounds to lose. And so back to the story, the part came when a choir is supposedly to sing the part in which, however our musical director made me do it solo since we don't have a decent choir to do it. It was so obvious in the video that I was straining, my voice really quavered and uneven ... it was totally disastrous. If Jimmy Santos was there holding his gong, then it would have sounded... However many people still think I did great... anyway, the botttom point is, I make poeple entertained, right? Okay ... so let's proceed. The next song I sang was a duet. It was more relaxed and I guess it's the best performance of all my songs in there... And then finalé came. Waah!!!! I really regret the ad-lib gestures I did ... the facial expressions are soooo fake and even the hand movements seemed restrained and I was soooo big. Well, I can't do about it, can I? It's me in there and I can't change that. Well, watching the video ... I realized that "marami pa akong kakaining bigas". Truly, I realized the hardships Sarah G. or Eric Santos went through to be in the place where they're at right now... oh well, life goes on for Andy.

Two Weeks in Davao


I've been feeling sick when I arrived in Davao. I still have the after effects of yesterday's Colds and Fever. Nevertheless, my first breathe of Davao air took my breath away. I'm home again. My nanay and tatay, fetched me at the airport. I was telling them about my resignation and what other prospect jobs I'll be applying. We stopped at Sta. Farmacy in Cartir Square to buy ingredients for Spaghetti. I missed nanay's spaghetti. When we arrived home my sister greeted me, "Taba-a na nimo uy!!!!". Well, I was physically challanged, my stay in Manila made me overbloated that I was afraid to be obese again...
Anyway, tomorrow that day, I visited good old Ateneo Davao to claim my yearbook. The Kalasag staff told me that the yearbook will be due this October pa!!! Ang tagal naman! It's been 2 and a half years... Anyway I visited Choes after that and we talked about our classmates applying in ATO and stuff.
Two weeks came in a breeze, I devoted most of my time, working out Superbodies with the manongs in there. I was pumping again iron using my favorite "Circuit Routine". I also frequented Port Café at Gaisano Mall to eat Grilled Malasugue. Ah, I was recalling one meal, good old days are back again. I also met with Mayang, who needed help with her HIMIG concerns. I also bought many pirated DVDs, most of them concerts like "Children's day" by McDonalds featuring Celine Dion. Josh Groban, David Foster and the like...
Two weeks are over and before I go, my family led by my tatay, blessed me with a prayer ... all I can say that I'd be forever grateful to God for giving me such wonderful parents.
I'm back in Manila... and I'm glad I'm more inspired than ever.

A Break


Finally, I get to have a break from my job. I think I have a serios illness that's why I have to quit as soon as possoble. I resigned from my job but I think the more appropriate term is AWOL. I'd rather invest my money on my medication than pay the training bond. Do you understand me? I'm sure you'll do the same thing too if you were in my shoes. I'm glad, I'm back here in my hometown. It's good to be back home - where life is simpler and the air is cleaner.

Everyday is a different day


Well, I'm still sulking in here regarding my ill-fated situation. However, there's no use dreading everyday thinking about you job, right? So I guess I just gloss over the entire eight hours like a machine without any feelings. Maybe, that's one of the factors too, I become too emotionally involve especially when dealing with people, I want to please people everytime but in your job, you can't please anyone especially the clients. "Duh, pakialam nako kung guba ilang router!" Sometimes people demand so much na it's too much na talaga and you start to cower yourself or fight back ... Stop, think and wait a minute, is it love that I really feel? Look, I'm really out of my senses. Right now, I'm looking for a new job - a normal one, I don't care how I would pay the remaining amount of bond kung magrereseign ako "someday" hahaha... uncertain pa pala. Who knows? I might love my job talking and blabbering. Basta, I just think that everyday is a different day. I just think that God designed different situations for each day since He wants me to learn something from it. Sometimes, when I pray, I complained much from God why would He let me feel hard this way and questioning Him if there is another way to make things more bearable. I remember Jesus' prayer when He prayed in the Garden of Gethsemane asking from His father if there is an easier way to save mankind from sin. I just thought that my dilemma is nothing compared to his'. Well, thinking about this sometimes I feel quite lucky. I have my own money, and can freely make my choices in life and most of all I'm alive! Well, that's somethings more I can thank for. Life goes on for Andy ...

Hopeless...


Everyone wants to have a job right? When I was jobless, I imagined myself of the day when I will be excited to go to the office everyday and receive my first salary - and be able to enjoy the fruits of my labor. So much for dreams ... I work in a call center. I have shifting schedules which were changed in an irregular manner. I talk a lot over the phone... clients thank and sometimes praise me I helped them and worst INSULT me when you can't provide them help. The call center environment is also superficial ... everyone's pretending they are enjoying everything while they are not ... it is a culture of yelling upon pressing the mute button, mundane talks, fuming cigarettes everywhere but I know in their hearts - they are tired soulless souls at the end of the day, wishing everyday is a REST day - hmmm... speaking of rest day, call centers also require you to work on your rest days too, yeah I know they will pay you double but money is nothing compared to a good day's rest. What I do in the call center will not match to the money they are paying me ... I am a bad boy ... I don't go to the office if I feel not to, I don't do overtime or work on rest day and maybe do this until the day they will summon me and tell me that they I could no longer be an asset to the company. At first, I was positive about this, I think it looked cool speaking English like Americans with the twang, and with those cool headsets like you see in Globe or SMART advertisements. But when you get a hold of it for quite some time everything seems routinary, boring, tiring and draining. I don't want to go back in my station anymore. I dread the whole day staring in front of the monitor. I'm tired of asking questions from my team leader if I don't know the answers to the problem. You see, I'm a person who is SUPPOSED to know everything and that's the issue. Maybe, my personality is not really suited for working in a call center. I'm quite shocked why my trainers let me pass the training. At this point I don't know what to do, taking a step back would lead me to a world of unemployment again. It's hard to find a job but when you find the job, all the same you will not be happy if you are not inclined to it. A friend recently e-mailed me about being happy with your job but I don't think I can do that. However, I know there is God who watched over me and I know He is in control of everything ... all I can do is TRUST, pray and wait ... tha's all.