Pride and Self-pity

I have been thinking why our society values, "self-pity". It is like a normal drama for all of us when we feel we are USED, ABUSED and when the world seems to devour on us. Yesterday during our leadership meeting, it was shocking for me to know that self-pity, as well self-despair is some form of PRIDE... Of course, we know pride as something that is arrogant, boastful, etc but looking deeper, self-pity is a form of pride. When we pity ourselves, we are too confident of ourselves that if we have to do this or that, people will respond positively. If we think that we sacrificed too much for the sake of a greater cause and yet that sacrifice brings to no result or worse, rejection, we often wallow in self-pity... and we think it's the humblest feeling we could feel. But remember that this feeling resulted in expecting too much for ourselves and from others. It neglects the fact that we can't control how people would react or how would things turn out to be... so it is a form of pride. We need God in an act of faith to do things for us... we can always be assured that if "we will just do our best (not overservicing or overextending), God will do the rest"

1 Peter 4:7-11

Live life in LOVE
LOVE to the point of sacrifice
Love 'til it hurts
Now is the best time to LOVE.

Adam's Silence

Genesis 3:6, 9-10 (NIV)
6 When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it...

9 But the LORD God called to the man, "Where are you?"

10 He answered, "I heard you in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid."

Adam just stood by her... He never did anything ... He did not accept his responsibility because he was afraid of exposing his true self ... and that day manhood died.

Recently, the world just celebrated the International Women's Day and of course thousands of (bigoted) women once again ran down the streets, shouting and holding their banners high reciting the women's rights: how they should be protected from abuse (especially from men), labor provisons, etc, the list never ends. Long since women's liberation started, it has been always women, women and women - women should be treated equally with men, women should have these rights, women are the greater sex and other silly quotes as perpetrated by these so-called women's magazines. Though you can't blame women. Ages and ages for now, men had dominated the society however with not so good reputation. In ancient kingdoms men do not allow women to be eductaed or interact with men. The Greeks consider women only as peple of the household and as vessel to bear children (male ones preferred). It was men who conquered kingdoms, who brought brutality and gory - orphaned children, widowed wives. It was men who started wars and burned houses, raped poor girl civilians, silenced the cries of the children. Though men are also reputed to be pioneers of technology, music, arts, etc, the society only remembers the masculinity of men as violent and brutal and how these have in effect. On the surface, women's liberation seems to emphasize the rights of the women only but in a subsconscious level it attempts to "feminize" men - that is it attempts to "tame" man's innate wild heart.

And today we see: WE ARE A FEMINIZED SOCIETY. Men are trained to be good and responsible husbands. They are trained to be good employess. They are trained to be good people who are sensible, who does not go wild when provoked, who is expected to come home after office, who is expected to devote most of his time for his family, who is expected to feed the baby when the wife is working and the list goes on. Even in media nowadays, men are portrayed as if he is an image of "beauty". If you ride the MRT along EDSA, you will see most billboards are filled with images of men who are "beautiful" (i.e. ripped body, six-pack abs, boy-next-door face) and to think this genre only belonged to women decades ago. In TV shows, you see lots of shows about women... and if you just wait and think... does the world forgot about men and masculinity? Does the world stop and think... hey, men got some needs too. That is why today, just as John Eldredge says in his book, "Wild at Heart", men are bored. Mainly because he doesn't know his nature anymore. It is there but he has not discovered it. He may be that man who studied at Ateneo, earns a lot and considered successful by his peers. You would say, he must be happy but something is missing. He had had lots of girlfriends, jumping from one relationship to another. You might say he is promiscuous. But no, he is looking for something, he is looking for himself... his sense of being a man.

Wild At Heart

John Eledredge said in his book that men are "wild at heart". I've been reading this book for quite some time (and hasn't finished it yet) and I'm so inspired because it makes me realize how good it is to be a man - the man God calls you to be. He says, a man's heart is like a beast, always looking for excitement, always looking for adventure and unknown worlds to conquer. He loves to test his strength time and time again and to take it out to reach his destiny. Though a man's heart is like the wind who seems to be on a constant move, he would stop for a "beauty". I remembered this scene in "House of Flying Daggers" where Takeshi Kaneshiro told Zhang Ziyi that though he might be the wind that is restless, he would stop for a beautiful flower of the north. But as history tells us, man abused this God-given trait. He becomes misdirected and so it resulted to violence and brutality.

This feminized society hindered men to be "men"... it neglects the fact that men must do his passion or else he will be weak. Let's give simple instances: girlfriends should understand that your boyfriend needs to play basketball with his friends. It is one way of testing his strength against his brothers, to be in an exciting, adrenaline pumping "hunt" which is called sports (That is why we guys love sports very much and we could talk about it all day). It is a continual process of being a man but rest assured that he loves you very much. Wives, though you were one in marriage should let your husband do what he has in mind: a mission trip to Cambodia or some mountain expedition in Everest or plain dinner out with his friends. However what happens is that, girl nags if her boyfriend does not want to be with her. She nags and nags until her boy ends up consoling her and wife often blackmails her husband that he had kids to feed, he had a job to maintain to support the family, etc. and so the husband is compelled to stick to this tiring routine for the rest of his life, his passions de-flamed.

For us guys, we trust our hearts to God for he is our Father and he bestows true masculinity. Don't listen to (insecure and selfish) women who says that you are not man enough for her (especially if you decline to have sex with her), screw Toni Braxton's song or this new song by Madonna. Women can never bestow true masculinity. We get our masculinity from God and from the brotherhood. It is a legacy that is passed on for generations. Once we become mature on our masculinity it is this masculinity that we offer to women. It is this masculinity to protect "beauty". It is this masculinity to bring "beauty" into our adventures, to show her the worlds we conquer "shining, shimmering, splendid", just like what Aladdin offered to Jasmine, or like Peter Cetera's singing, "I am the man who will fight for your honor". Don't be just the "man" the world expects you to be. Look up to God and he transforms you to be the man you are destined to be. Break Adam's curse. Do not be afraid of what you will become. It is a scary thing but it is when we stand out that we become free of what we are to be.

Who is...

Who is to blame?
For this sad predicament I am into
I am alone
And no one notices me

Is it because
I do not have the charm of talking?
Or is it because I don't deserve it?
Or people just think I don't need one.

O, God why can't you fill this need inside?
I know you heard my heart cry in pain.
Open, bruised and neglected!
I pray day and night for love

I tried to reach out
And prayed I'll be a blessing
To make others feel Your love for them
That they may smile all day

Inside, I am child
Waiting for his mother to ask him how he is.
O, God I am not a child anymore
Can you be my mother?

Can You snuggle with me on bed when I sleep at night?
And listen to stories of adventures I had during the day?
Would You cheer me if I do something great?
Would You be my shoulder to cry on?

O God, I felt unloved
And seemingly insignificant in this world
I am forever competing for attention
From the ones I care about

And now they can't
Can you give me an assurance?
That I really am something in Your sight?
By faith, I would believe even if my heart says otherwise.