A Break


Finally, I get to have a break from my job. I think I have a serios illness that's why I have to quit as soon as possoble. I resigned from my job but I think the more appropriate term is AWOL. I'd rather invest my money on my medication than pay the training bond. Do you understand me? I'm sure you'll do the same thing too if you were in my shoes. I'm glad, I'm back here in my hometown. It's good to be back home - where life is simpler and the air is cleaner.

Everyday is a different day


Well, I'm still sulking in here regarding my ill-fated situation. However, there's no use dreading everyday thinking about you job, right? So I guess I just gloss over the entire eight hours like a machine without any feelings. Maybe, that's one of the factors too, I become too emotionally involve especially when dealing with people, I want to please people everytime but in your job, you can't please anyone especially the clients. "Duh, pakialam nako kung guba ilang router!" Sometimes people demand so much na it's too much na talaga and you start to cower yourself or fight back ... Stop, think and wait a minute, is it love that I really feel? Look, I'm really out of my senses. Right now, I'm looking for a new job - a normal one, I don't care how I would pay the remaining amount of bond kung magrereseign ako "someday" hahaha... uncertain pa pala. Who knows? I might love my job talking and blabbering. Basta, I just think that everyday is a different day. I just think that God designed different situations for each day since He wants me to learn something from it. Sometimes, when I pray, I complained much from God why would He let me feel hard this way and questioning Him if there is another way to make things more bearable. I remember Jesus' prayer when He prayed in the Garden of Gethsemane asking from His father if there is an easier way to save mankind from sin. I just thought that my dilemma is nothing compared to his'. Well, thinking about this sometimes I feel quite lucky. I have my own money, and can freely make my choices in life and most of all I'm alive! Well, that's somethings more I can thank for. Life goes on for Andy ...

Hopeless...


Everyone wants to have a job right? When I was jobless, I imagined myself of the day when I will be excited to go to the office everyday and receive my first salary - and be able to enjoy the fruits of my labor. So much for dreams ... I work in a call center. I have shifting schedules which were changed in an irregular manner. I talk a lot over the phone... clients thank and sometimes praise me I helped them and worst INSULT me when you can't provide them help. The call center environment is also superficial ... everyone's pretending they are enjoying everything while they are not ... it is a culture of yelling upon pressing the mute button, mundane talks, fuming cigarettes everywhere but I know in their hearts - they are tired soulless souls at the end of the day, wishing everyday is a REST day - hmmm... speaking of rest day, call centers also require you to work on your rest days too, yeah I know they will pay you double but money is nothing compared to a good day's rest. What I do in the call center will not match to the money they are paying me ... I am a bad boy ... I don't go to the office if I feel not to, I don't do overtime or work on rest day and maybe do this until the day they will summon me and tell me that they I could no longer be an asset to the company. At first, I was positive about this, I think it looked cool speaking English like Americans with the twang, and with those cool headsets like you see in Globe or SMART advertisements. But when you get a hold of it for quite some time everything seems routinary, boring, tiring and draining. I don't want to go back in my station anymore. I dread the whole day staring in front of the monitor. I'm tired of asking questions from my team leader if I don't know the answers to the problem. You see, I'm a person who is SUPPOSED to know everything and that's the issue. Maybe, my personality is not really suited for working in a call center. I'm quite shocked why my trainers let me pass the training. At this point I don't know what to do, taking a step back would lead me to a world of unemployment again. It's hard to find a job but when you find the job, all the same you will not be happy if you are not inclined to it. A friend recently e-mailed me about being happy with your job but I don't think I can do that. However, I know there is God who watched over me and I know He is in control of everything ... all I can do is TRUST, pray and wait ... tha's all.